This summer is flying by! We are just a few weeks out from Ben starting his first year of preschool! I can’t believe time is going so quickly. We have been keeping busy this summer, despite the heat. We’ve been sticking to the indoors, but that doesn’t mean we have been skimping on the fun. These kids don’t want to hold still, they want to play!
Recently we have had a ton of cuteness in our house. Ali and Sammy are super in to giving hugs and kisses. The kisses are those great big wet open mouth ones that young toddlers do, which means they are kind of gross. But the girls are so happy to be sharing love you can’t help but love it yourself. (Then discretely wipe the drool off.) Sammy and Ali will give each other big hugs and kisses too. I love it. But for every precious moment there can be screams and tears.
Today I was tired.
I know, moms are always tired. It’s kind of our ‘thing.’ This statement isn’t any sort of revelation for anyone.
But today I was just tired. I didn’t really want to do all the mom stuff I needed to do. Heck I didn’t want to do the non mom stuff I had to do. I didn’t want to make dinner, I didn’t want to do the laundry. I didn’t even really want to my own work.
We are at the last day of another great BFBN week! I have loved this week because it has highlighted some of the great things about Babywise that have nothing at all to do with sleep or scheduling. I have found that these books might not always give me an answer or necessarily go along with some of my personal parenting beliefs, but it always makes me think. It challenges me to be intentional with my parenting and be present while I am doing it. These are good things.
Today we have Emily from The Journey of Parenthood discussing self control more. It is great to know that this is something we should teach our children, but how do we do that? And why should we even try? She writes:
One of the things we are working on with Ben is doing what you are told with a happy heart. To me that means being willing to do as you are told and maintaining a positive attitude. I am hoping my children will learn that they can control how they react to situations and how they act on their feelings. Carrie from Wiley Adventures uses an actual physical space to really drive home this point, and I think that is a great idea. She writes:
Self control is so hard. I say that as an adult. Even as I write this I am thinking about the ice cream sandwiches in my freezer and telling myself I don’t need to eat them all. Now I am an adult and have had years of practice at self control, and I still find it challenging to practice at times. Our children aren’t born being able to do this, we have to help them to learn what it means. Self control is a life skill that I think we all need to practice to keep strong. Cole from Twinning Babywise agrees. She writes:
Have you ever asked your child to do something and gotten absolutely no response? Like you aren’t even sure they heard you? If you answered no you are a way better mom than me because I know I have. If you are like me the answer is a big old yes.I don’t think this is always a case of my child being rude or disobedient, it is often because he is just distracted by all the other things going on in the world. I try to make my children look me in the eye and respond when I speak to him. This helps us both make sure we are on the same page. Katrina from Mama’s Organized Chaos agrees.
What are your parenting goals?
By that I don’t mean Make it to dinner time or Find the missing sippy cup. Think long term, way beyond when your children are tiny and still under your direct care. What do you want for them? I think most parents want their kids to be good people. They want them to be nice, successful, happy. Can we get more specific than that? Do you want to raise someone who is trying to change the world? Someone who seeks out others to include instead of exclude? Maybe someone who is smart with money and lives within their means? These are things to think about.
What are your parenting beliefs?
No, I’m not talking about no dessert before you finish your carrots. Do you think kids should be seen but not heard? Should we be teaching our kids to get in touch with their feelings or do we worry there are too many ‘special snowflakes’ around for that? Are you dead set against spanking? How do you feel about cry it out?
Day 2 of this BFBN week! I will be posting soon about intentional parenting- how our beliefs and goals shape our parenting decisions. But first we have Caitlin from Rogers Party of 5. I think we can all agree our world needs kindness. That starts at home, with what we teach our children. While we might all want to teach our kids how to be kind, we might not be sure how exactly to do that. Fortunately Caitlin has some great tips for us.
Has your child ever decided that they know what is best for themselves (and sometimes everyone else)? While it can be cute to see your little one thinking they are such an adult, it can lead to a lot of problems. While our child might think they know what is best, we all know they are still in fact children. They are not adults yet. This can turn into a very frustrating problem, and often results in some battles of will. No one wants that. Natasha from Let’s Be Brave explains this very well and offers up some solutions for us. She writes: