One of the things we are working on with Ben is doing what you are told with a happy heart. To me that means being willing to do as you are told and maintaining a positive attitude. I am hoping my children will learn that they can control how they react to situations and how they act on their feelings. Carrie from Wiley Adventures uses an actual physical space to really drive home this point, and I think that is a great idea. She writes:
Self control is so hard. I say that as an adult. Even as I write this I am thinking about the ice cream sandwiches in my freezer and telling myself I don’t need to eat them all. Now I am an adult and have had years of practice at self control, and I still find it challenging to practice at times. Our children aren’t born being able to do this, we have to help them to learn what it means. Self control is a life skill that I think we all need to practice to keep strong. Cole from Twinning Babywise agrees. She writes:
Have you ever asked your child to do something and gotten absolutely no response? Like you aren’t even sure they heard you? If you answered no you are a way better mom than me because I know I have. If you are like me the answer is a big old yes.I don’t think this is always a case of my child being rude or disobedient, it is often because he is just distracted by all the other things going on in the world. I try to make my children look me in the eye and respond when I speak to him. This helps us both make sure we are on the same page. Katrina from Mama’s Organized Chaos agrees.
Has your child ever decided that they know what is best for themselves (and sometimes everyone else)? While it can be cute to see your little one thinking they are such an adult, it can lead to a lot of problems. While our child might think they know what is best, we all know they are still in fact children. They are not adults yet. This can turn into a very frustrating problem, and often results in some battles of will. No one wants that. Natasha from Let’s Be Brave explains this very well and offers up some solutions for us. She writes:
Did you look at this title and think, Hey Kim, you don’t have a preteen. How can you offer advice on how to correct them? You’re right, I can’t. Well, not from experience any way. It isn’t me offering the advice. We are kicking off another full week of Babywise Friendly Blog Network (BFBN) posts! I recently introduced what the BFBN is and it’s members, and I am super excited to have a whole week of posts from these great ladies. This week we are focusing on Babywise topics, but not the ones that usually come to mind. I think we most often think of schedules and sleep behaviors when we think of Babywise. There are so many other great ideas in these books though! This week we are going to take a look at several different topics from Babywise.
Like most moms I work hard to try to remind my kids of the rules when we are at home and when we are out. I try to review them before we go anywhere, give reminders in the car, when we are out, when we are home. You know what? It just got to be too much. I don’t want to spend all my time reviewing rules. And I certainly don’t want to feel like all I am doing is lecturing my children on their behavior. There had to be a better way. Basically I wanted to find a way to boil down the best behavior rules for any situation that I could relay to my children quickly. Not only that I wanted my kids to be able to really take it to heart and own it. I wanted them to really hear me, not just nod while they think of other things.
Confession: When my son has a tantrum, I try not to punish him. Oh, I don’t want him acting out like that. Tantrums are absolutely something to avoid and unacceptable behavior. But I think tantrums in toddlers and preschoolers aren’t telling us that our children need more discipline or are out of control. I think they are telling us our children are having some big feelings they don’t know how to deal with.
Today we have two posts on discipline. One is from Carrie at Wiley Adventures. Discipline needs to have a higher meaning, and the meaning she and her family use is discipleship. She writes:
“For us, in our home as believers, we view discipline through the lens of discipleship. A disciple is a student, someone who is being trained to follow a particular way. Discipleship in parenting looks like “training them up in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6). As a Christian home, we know that “the way they should go” is the ways of Jesus and to learn and follow what the Bible says. “
Head on over to Wiley Adventures to read more!
We usually discipline when our kids act in a way we don’t want them to. But how do they know what is expected of them? I think sometimes we forget that part- that we have to teach them what to do, not just what not to do. Katrina from Mama’s Organized Chaos is talking to us today about teaching what we want from our kids.
My husband and I believe in setting high expectations. We believe that, if we set high expectations, our daughter will rise to the challenge. I used the same idea when teaching high school, and I am a firm believer that it works. It not only provides a challenge for children that they are often longing for, it shows them that you believe in them.