Oh my gosh I fought this so hard. I did NOT want to join a mom’s club. I thought the idea of paying for friends was so silly. I thought I’d be able to make friends. I thought I’d be able to find mom friends naturally. I tried and I tried hard. I was disappointed again and again, and I finally broke down and tried my local mom’s group. It’s been almost a year, and I am really glad I gave it a shot.
Here’s the thing- mom life can be lonely. Despite the fact that I have a 2.5 year old that talks nonstop, it’s still a lonely job at times with minimal adult interaction. And, if your husband is as busy as mine, adult time can’t always be counted on from that front, either.
We spent the first 1.5 years going out by ourselves, just the two of us. I’d make it a point to talk to other moms that were at events with babies around the same age as Caroline. I’d even go so far as to exchange numbers and Facebook accounts so we could get together another time. I’d schedule playdates, and 90% of the time the moms would either cancel, be no shows, or show up way late with no respect for my time. It was a disappointing process and I felt so much like I was dating again…and who wants to do that!? It’s hard, so hard to find friends. It’s also hard to do everything alone. It’s lonely, even with your child in tow.
When moms did show up for our playdates, we rarely got to get to know one another. You spend the entire time playing with, teaching, and interacting with the children! It takes a LONG time and a lot of effort to actually get to know other moms. So, very often, the effort I was putting in just wasn’t reciprocated…and I get it…it’s exhausting and you feel like you never get anywhere.
My family is all in other states. My friends from college and childhood- all in other states. My work friends- well they’re working and we don’t have much in common at this point. I don’t have “people” close by. And so, I finally joined the local mom’s club.
Here’s what happened:
1. I have found other moms that are just like me. All of these moms wanted exactly what I wanted- to meet other moms. That should have been obvious just based on the fact that it’s a mom’s club, but I really didn’t buy into that until I saw it. For whatever reason, these moms were searching out other moms just as I was doing. We all have the same goal in mind. Some are like me with husbands that work a lot, or they have moved and are far away from family and friends. Others were just looking for moms with children the same ages as their children. Whatever the reason, we are all brought together by a common goal- meeting other moms!
2. I rarely HAVE to go anywhere alone. Sometimes I still like to do things just with my daughter, but if I have an event that I’d like to attend, and perhaps want some company, all I have to do is add the event on our meet-up group and click to publish it. Odds are, another mom was looking to go to the event as well, or will find it interesting and decide she’d like to attend with me. I can have adult interaction on a regular basis as a result, and it is so refreshing.
3. I am making real friends. I actually really like a lot of the moms I’ve met! In fact, most of the moms I’ve met, I can see continuing to be friends with. We’ve all exchanged numbers, and would continue to enjoy one another’s company even if the moms group suddenly ceased to exist.
4. Location, location, location. The mom’s group I joined is location based. It is based on where we live and the elementary school we are zoned for. That means that, not only have I met some great moms in the area, we all live close by! Some are within walking distance to my house. That is so wonderful to me. We can walk to the local playground and meet up together for a morning outing. We can go on walks together. Our children will be in elementary school together and know some familiar faces.
5. Support. With my husband’s job and family all out of state, I need some extra hands here and there at unexpected times. When I found out I had antiphospholipid syndrome and was considered to be a high miscarriage risk, I had an emergency appointment scheduled the next day, and wasn’t going to be able to bring my daughter. So many moms stepped up and offered to help. And I know them well enough at this point that I would have trusted any one of them with Caroline. This provides me such a sense of security to know that I have moms that I can count on.
6. Variety in Events. I don’t know about you, but I get stuck in my routines at times and fail to branch out. Being a part of the mom’s club has allowed me to do new things, find new places, and be more creative in my planning as well. I’ve gotten to participate in fundraisers, and have my daughter do some really great things! It gets me thinking outside the box when adding events as well.
7. There’s always something to do. I actually have to refrain from participating in every event that I want to, otherwise my daughter and I would never be home! The great thing, though, is that there’s pretty much always something going on if we want to get out and about!
8. Socialization. This is one of my favorite aspects of having joined the mom’s club- my daughter gets to socialize, and she LOVES it! I think it is so important to let our children learn how to play with others and experience lots of socialization when they are young. My daughter begs for another chance to see her friends, and she’s really blossomed as a result of being able to have opportunities to socialize.
If you are interested to find your MOMS Club chapter, or even start one for your community, just go to this link and type in your location as I once did! You will find you some wonderful friends, and get your child socializing! (This post was not sponsored or affiliated in any way)!
Katrina has a 2.5 year old daughter and blogs at Mama’s Organized Chaos. She’s a mama that breastfed, used cloth diapers, did sleep training, and loves Babywise!