Truths moms of multiples keep secret.
Being a mom of multiples sends you into a new world. As soon as you hear that there is more than one heartbeat, everything changes. You have gotten your membership in the multiple birth club. Suddenly everyone finds you fascinating.
Oh yes, apparently having twins means everyone wants to know everything about how you conceived your twins, what it’s like to have twins, how your twins interact, and more. People want to know EVERYTHING.
Twin moms get used to a certain level of questions and, honestly, inappropriate comments. It comes with the moms of multiples life. But there are some things we don’t like to talk about.
So I’m going to share them now. Yep, here are 10 truths moms of multiples won’t tell you.
What's In This Post?
- Secrets Moms of Multiples Won’t Tell You
- 1. We Do Feel Badass for Being a Twin Mom
- 2. Twin Moms Don’t Have a Monopoly on ‘Hard’
- 3. Twin Mom Problems Are Real
- 4. You Can Still Share Your Singleton Problems
- 5. Sometimes Having Twins Is Easier
- 6. Twin Moms Call Their Twins by the Wrong Name
- 7. Twin Moms Still Judge Their Fellow Twin Moms
- 8. Twin Moms Have a Favorite Twin
- 9. The Twin Mom Celebrity Status Can Be Fun
- 10. Twin Moms Get Jealous of Singleton Moms
- Twin Mom Secrets
Secrets Moms of Multiples Won’t Tell You
Ready to know what twin moms don’t talk about?
1. We Do Feel Badass for Being a Twin Mom
I’ll admit it, being a twin mom makes me feel like a rockstar sometimes.
I grew two people at the same time. I birthed two people. I kept two newborns alive. My house is still standing despite having two toddlers.
The list goes on, but yes, I am proud of what I’ve been able to do as a twin mom. I am stronger than I knew. And even though sometimes I want to crumble under the strain of these two people dependent on me, knowing I’ve made it this far gives me the confidence to keep going.
2. Twin Moms Don’t Have a Monopoly on ‘Hard’
Being a twin mom is tough. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. And there are a ton of memes and cartoons out there talking about how hard twin mom life is.
But it isn’t the only parenting thing that is hard. Being a mom is hard. Twin, singleton, lots of kids, only child, gifted, special needs. It is all tough!
So while yes, twin mom life has thrown some challenges at me I never expected, I don’t for a second think everything in my life is automatically harder than what singleton moms deal with.
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3. Twin Mom Problems Are Real
While not always harder, twin mom problems are a thing. I hate to use twins as an excuse, but honestly, the fact that there are two kids really does cause the problem sometimes.
From the unique complications of twin pregnancy to how to breastfeed two babies at once to do I split them up in the classroom. There are just questions and situations I have to face with my twins I never had to handle with my singleton.
These problems mean yes, sometimes twin moms just need to talk to other twin moms. We all need someone who just gets it. So twin mom friends are a must.
Moms talk. We like to talk about our kids, and moms need to talk about the problems they are facing.
So it drives me crazy when I am with my mom friends and someone apologizes to me for complaining because they don’t have twins. Remember when I said twin moms aren’t the only ones who can have hard times? Stop apologizing!
If we are friends, share away. Holding back because I have twins and you think your problems aren’t worth enough is damaging to you and it isolates us twin moms. We’re all moms. We all need to support each other.
5. Sometimes Having Twins Is Easier
Some twin moms may hate me for saying this, but yes. Sometimes having twins is easier than having two singletons.
Twin babies have the same sleep and eating needs. It’s easier to keep to a schedule when both kids are on that same schedule as opposed to trying to map out naps for a toddler and a baby.
Twins can play together. (Don’t get me wrong, they can fight a lot too.) You know those silly games toddlers come up? They make no sense, the rules change all the time, and somehow I know I never play them right. No problem, my toddler twins play them together. They are happy, and I’m off the hook.
What’s age-appropriate for one of your kids is age-appropriate for the other. With 3 kids I don’t have to figure out what will entertain a 6-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 1-year-old. That’s a 5 year range to be working with. I just need to figure out what entertains a 6-year-old and two 3-year-olds. It’s a small difference, but it helps.
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6. Twin Moms Call Their Twins by the Wrong Name
I call my twins by the wrong name way more than I’d like to admit.
It isn’t because I can’t tell my twins apart. I know who is who. But I still mix them up.
Why? Usually, because they are running around or I’m multitasking, or just dealing with mom brain. All moms do it, and it comes from a place of love.
This means I’m not mad when you call my twins by the wrong name. It happens. And I have identical twins, so trust me, I understand. What makes twin moms mad is if you don’t even try to know who is who. Put in the effort, and don’t beat yourself up if you mix things up.
7. Twin Moms Still Judge Their Fellow Twin Moms
The twin mom community can seem tight. And it is. It really can be a wonderfully supportive place.
That doesn’t mean it is always a judgment-free zone.
Do you dress your twins the same? Did you give them rhyming names? Do you want to keep them in the same class at school?
These are just some of the dividing lines in the twin world.
Obviously, twin moms shouldn’t be judging each other. No mom should be. But it happens. There are some issues that might seem silly to the non-twin community, but they are very serious to us.
(And for the record, I did dress my twins the same and I think twin parents should get to decide if their kids are in the same class or not. Oh, and yes I have strong twin name opinions. We’ll save those for another time.)
8. Twin Moms Have a Favorite Twin
Yep, I have a favorite twin. No, I’m not saying who.
Because the favorite changes. From week to week, day to day, minute to minute. (And if moms of more than one kid are honest they have favorites too.)
My favorite is usually whoever is using their listening ears the best. (Or at least not tantruming.) Sometimes it’s just that I can relate better to one personality-wise.
And it is okay to have a favorite. What is not okay is to make a big deal of it and act on it. If I notice that I am gravitating towards one twin more often I make it an effort to get the one on one time with the other. Inevitably, it all balances out.
9. The Twin Mom Celebrity Status Can Be Fun
Being a twin mom means you get A LOT of attention. And all the questions can be invasive and frankly, rude sometimes.
Yet every once in a while… It’s fun.
Who doesn’t like to hear that their babies are cute? And who doesn’t like to hear that you must be a great mom to handle twins? No one.
When life got really overwhelming, or when I felt like I was just failing as a mom, I would dress my twins up in cute matching outfits, head to Target, and wait for the comments.
Is it silly? Yes. But it made me feel better. A little attention is nice. (It’s self-care, right?)
10. Twin Moms Get Jealous of Singleton Moms
I have heard from what feels like a thousand people how much they wish they had twins.
Twin mom truth? Sometimes we wish we didn’t have twins.
Hear me out. I would never not want my sweet babies, but having twins is hard. And I have a singleton too, so I know first hand the sweet moments of one on one time that my twins do not get enough of.
I’m jealous of the snuggles. I’m jealous that singleton mothers can give undivided attention more. And I’m jealous that singletons don’t have to go around fighting to be seen as individuals.
Twin Mom Secrets
Every mom has things we just don’t talk about and these are my twin mom secrets. My hope is that talking about them will help other moms feel less alone.
And I want to know, do you agree with these? What are your mom secrets?
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Sunday 26th of January 2020
I’m a mom of 1 year old identical twin girls and this post gave me life lol? I feel so happy someone says what i think!
Sunday 26th of January 2020
This makes me so happy to hear! I'm glad I'm not the only one with these thoughts. :)
Saturday 4th of January 2020
Great post! I have identical twins, too. Mine are preteens now, and it gets sooo much easier. Blessings on you and your family ❤️
Sunday 5th of January 2020
I love hearing from twin moms who have survived the toddler years :)