The friends you need to make twin mom life better.
Anyone else feel lost as a twin mom sometimes? From the moment we found out we were expecting twins things changed. Being parents is challenging enough, but being parents to two new babies at the same time? That was a tiny bit scary to think about.
As you go through your twin pregnancy into the first few weeks and that first year as a twin mom (and beyond) you are going to need support. Not just support for your twins, support for you as a mom and as a person.
I know I couldn’t do this mom thing alone. I need my mom friends to get me through the days sometimes. And having mom friends who understand what having twins is like? That is invaluable.
Mom friends come in all shapes and sizes, and they all serve different purposes. It’s hard to find one friend to fill all our needs. But I have found that there are 5 types of twin mom friends you need to make this twin mom life the best it can be.
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Friends Make Raising Twins Better
Making mom friends can be hard, but it is worth the effort. These 5 types of friends will bring wisdom, let you vent, and remind you that you aren’t crazy. Twin life is just hectic at times.
These women don’t need to be your best friends, but you need them in your life in some capacity. They could be the mom you can chat with at preschool drop off every day, or the mom you meet through your twin Facebook group. Look around and find them. You’ll be glad you did.
Twin Mom Friends
1. A mom with twins the same age as your twins
Having a mom friend who is the trenches with you is so important. They are the friends you can have long conversations with debating the pros and cons of different jogging strollers or baby names for your girl twins because they are just as interested in them as you are.
This twin mom friend will reassure you that whatever stress and irritation you are feeling isn’t you, it’s the stage your twins are in. You don’t even have to go into detail. A glance, a groan, the words ‘twins!’ and they instantly know how you feel.
This is the twin mom friend you commisserate with, but you both hold each other up.
2. A mom with twins older than your twins
Find a mom with twins older than yours to talk to and become friends with. How much older? At least a couple of years. The best case for baby or toddler twins would be if this mom still has twins at home, but her twins are upper elementary school aged or older.
This twin friend gives you hope. Look at her. She sleeps. She eats hot food. And is her hair washed, clothes clean, and legs shaved all on the same day?!
This mom friend can give real advice because she has been there, done that, and sees the far reaching impact. She can reassure you that however chaotic your life feels, your twins won’t be negatively impacted by it.
This mom is the light at the end of the tunnel and seeing her with her older twins that are well adjusted and capable of using bathrooms by themselves will inspire you to keep at this twin thing.
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3. A mom with twins younger than your twins
This is where you get to be the mentor. Take one of those newly pregnant twin moms under your wing, because I know you remember all those fears.
The twin mom community is so great because they want to share their advice and experience with others, and I know I want to share what I’ve learned. Who doesn’t want to help out the next round of twin mom rockstars?
Seeing a mom with twins younger than yours will remind you of just how far you’ve come with this mom of multiples thing. It will remind you that, while those baby days were incredible in so many ways, they were hard. But you did it.
So smile and share a cup of coffee with a mom who has twins younger than yours.
4. A mom with more kids than you
Even if all you have is twins (ha, like that is nothing), find a mom with more kids than you. No, she doesn’t need to have twins. But you need a mom friend with at least one more kid than you have.
Why? It seems that the more kids a mom has, the more chill she becomes about almost everything. And twin moms need that kind of zen.
Every kid brings something new to the table, and I have found that the more kids you have the more you let go of your unrealistic expecations. And twin moms, we have unrealistic expecatations for ourselves.
Find a mom with as many kids as you can and befriend her. Offer to help her out too. It is good for the soul to help others. And she won’t mind if whatever you help with is less than perfect. She has a lot of kids, she gets it.
5. A mom with just a singleton(s)
Not gonna lie, it can feel like moms with singletons are the enemy sometimes. How dare they complain about being tired, not getting a shower, or basically anything. They only have one baby!
But parenting is hard no matter how many kids you have. We all go through stages where we feel like we are nailing this mom thing and times when we are in tears wondering how we will go on. This is true for moms of singletons or multiples.
Now that I have a singleton and twins, I can each have challenges. Having a friend who is not enmeshed in twin culture is eye opening and helpful. It’s a touchstone to, well, normality. Most people don’t have twins and it can be easy to forget that.
I know, it can be tough to see singleton moms get to really focus on one child at a time. Use that as a reminder of how important it is to get that one on one time. You can’t compare the time spent with your children. Every family has a different balance. But it is good to see the value in that quality time.
Friends Make Twin Mom Life Better
Friends make life better, we all know that. Find your mom tribe and build each other up. Then while you’re at it build up other moms you see too. We all have our own struggles but we’re stronger together.
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