10 Goals for the New Twin Mom

The first few weeks as a twin mom are CRAZY. Your body has been through a major medical event. You are completely exhausted. Oh, and you have two newborns to take care of.

It sounds completely overwhelming. And it is. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you twin mom life is easy. But there are ways to make it easier.

Making small goals are the best way to create big change. And these 10 small goals will help you survive the big change of becoming a twin mom.

New Twin Mom Goals

1. Keep Everyone Fed.

Figuring out how to keep your twins fed is a full-time job. (Seriously, I timed it once. I spent 8 hours a day breastfeeding my twins. Full. Time. Job.) And that is your most important job.

It doesn’t matter if you are breastfeeding, formula feeding, pumping, whatever. Take the time to really figure out what works best for you and your babies.

It’s hard, I’m not going to lie. But it is the most important thing in those first few weeks.

And do not forget to feed yourself! You need your strength to take care of those two precious babies. And if you are breastfeeding your body will be working hard. So eat and drink plenty of water.

(If you are planning to breastfeed you need to read my Ultimate Guide to Breastfeeding Twins. It has all my tips and tricks to make breastfeeding work with twins.)

2. Get An Organization System Into Place.

You will forget who ate when. Who ate how much. Even who pooped last.

It’s easy to forget, well, everything during the newborn days. You are just so tired and busy! So get some sort of note/organization system in place.

Some people prefer an app. Others like a whiteboard command center so everyone can see what has happened. I liked good old pen and paper. (You can download my printable tracking worksheets for free here!)

Whatever method you like, write things down! I even wrote down which twin was wearing what. Because despite doing everything to not confuse our identical twins, I still didn’t want to take any chances.

You know yourself best, so figure out what you can stick with. It doesn’t need to be pretty, just needs to work.

3. Set a Daily Wake Time and Stick To It.

Every twin mom hears that she needs to get her twins on a schedule. But that schedule isn’t going to appear overnight. It takes time.

The best and easiest way to get a schedule going? Set a daily wake time. That is the time you feed your twins and start your day with them.

Starting the day with this breakfast at the same time means your twins are more likely to be hungry at the same time later in the day, and they are more likely to be sleepy at the same time.

The tough part? Sticking to the time! If your twins do decide to sleep in it is so tempting to grab some extra sleep yourself. Do your best to get up and start your twins’ day at the same time every day. You’ll be happy you did.

(Learn more about how to set a daily wake time by clicking here. And get the step by step guide to getting your twins on a schedule by clicking here.)

4. Get Out of the House with your Twins BY YOURSELF.

Taking out one newborn is overwhelming, and you have two. I get it. But take both your twins out. By yourself.

Yes, I am serious.

Of course, wait until everyone is healthy enough to get out. But as soon as you get the all-clear, take those twins and go! It doesn’t matter where you go, just get out.

Why? It is too easy to get scared and think you can’t get out with your twins. But you are going to have to and the only way it gets easier is to do it. So go.

The worst that happens is you come home sooner than you planned. The best? You realize you are a rock star twin mom who can handle this twin life.

(If you are nervous about going out with two babies by yourself read this: How To Get Out with Twins Alone.)

5. Sleep When You Can.

I know every mom gets the advice to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’ And we all know that is BS. Life doesn’t stop when you have babies! And with twins, well, they might not always sleep at the same time. (Though there are things you can do to make that happen!)

But grab sleep when you can. Your body has just been through something huge. You made 2 new humans! It is important to remember that and let yourself heal.

This might not be the best sleep you’ve had, but find ways to make it work. Take shifts with your husband. Stick to the bare basics of keeping up the home. Let a family member or friend sit with your twins while you rest. And eat what is easy.

Get the rest your body needs as best you can. You can’t be a good mom if you don’t take care of yourself as well.

(Get tips on how to help your twins sleep through the night so you can sleep too: How To Sleep Train Twins (No Cry It Out Needed))

6. Check In With Your Husband.

Yes, giving birth is a huge toll on a woman. But welcoming a new child into a family can be hard on your husband too. You can bet he has fears, worries, and stress, just like you.

And with twins, husbands need to be hands-on from the start. Mom is outnumbered.

So remember that this is your partner. You guys are a team. Check-in with him. Ask him how he is feeling. Even if you can’t do much for him, at least let him know that you still see him and appreciate him.

Just knowing you are in this thing together can make a huge difference for him and you.

(Dads can experience depression after the birth of your twins too. Here is a resource to help: Postpartum Depression and Dads)

7. Take a shower, get dressed, and make your bed. All in one day.

It is way too easy to lose yourself in motherhood. We all know the stereotype of the mother who can’t remember when she last got a shower or took a moment just for herself.

Life with newborn twins doesn’t leave much room for self-care, and that’s okay. But you still need to do little things to remember you are a person too.

So take a shower. Fast as possible if needed, but do it. Get dressed. Nothing fancy, but real clothes. And make your bed.

Yes, try to do all of these things in one day. You will feel like a new woman.

(And I am very serious about the bed thing. It takes one minute to make your bed and when you finally find your way to it at the end of the day it will feel so good to have a nice bed to get into.)

Get more tips for taking care of you as a mom: Self-Care Tips for Twin Moms

8. Label Your Pictures.

You think you will never forget which little newborn face belongs to which baby. You will forget.

I thought for sure I could never forget who was who in pictures. I was wrong. Label your pictures so you know which baby is which.

Look, I know twins are individuals who just happened to be born at the same time, but all newborns can look a lot alike. And it is way easier to quickly jot down who is who if you print out a picture or label the files as you save them to your computer as you take them than go back a year later and try to figure it out.

I did remember to leave myself little clues. My girls have different lovies, so that helps me know who is in pictures. And I always tried to post them with Ali on the left and Sammy on the right. Of course, once they started moving that went out the window.

9. Stare At and Get To Know Every Inch of Your Twins.

Twin moms often feel guilty because they can’t just dote on their baby as you can with a singleton. Besides the fact that there are two babies to take care of, there is double the laundry, double the diapers, double the bottles. You get the point.

Do your best to learn the tiniest things about your twins. Who has a freckly on hand? Who has a dimple? These are little details you will treasure as a mom.

And these are the details you will use when you panic that you don’t know who is who. (It happens to every twin mom.) These little details will reassure that you are seeing your two babies and not just twins as a unit.

Some suggestions of things to look at? Ear shapes are usually different, even in identical twins. And belly buttons are technically surgical scars, so they will be different too. Breastfeeding is the perfect time to really soak in that baby time too.

(Learn tricks to tell your newborn twins apart by clicking here.)

10. Talk To Another Twin Mom.

Talking to another mom is the greatest thing when you are a new mom. (And any time in mom life really.) It makes you feel less alone.

Other moms can reassure you that you are not crazy, that your babies are normal, and that yes, being a mom is both the hardest and the best thing ever. (How is that even possible?)

But only another twin mom can fully get what it it is like to have twins.

I’m not trying to slight singleton moms. I have a singleton too. Each situation has its own unique challenges.

Twin moms will know, without a word, the fears, the challenges, and the joys of newborn twins. Even if it is just a facebook group or a long-distance friend, find a twin mom to share with.

You Will Be a Great Twin Mom

Those first few weeks and months as a twin mom can be a blur. But they can also be a time of great joy and love.

These goals will help you to really settle into twin life. They will help you keep your priorities, meet the needs of your new babies, and still take care of yourself. Meet these goals and you will thrive as a twin mom.

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